Be Careful!

It’s the holidays – I wanted something that could
go from zero to 100 in 6 seconds!
I got zero to 180 in 3 – just put my feet on that bathroom scale and bingo! We have a winner! Stink’n thing says, “one at a time please” – and would you like for me to divide by “2”? So what are my options? Lets see the dreaded “D” word …not diet ! Geezalou – “Don’t” , step on it again, Or “Dig” a hole and bury the dang thing, the ever popular – “Donate” it to Goodwill! Only one problem with the plan – somehow the dang thing got to my clothes. Pants must have shrunk right there in the closet! The “Girls” are now larger, heavier and want to hang around under my arms. Now, I have to draw the line somewhere.
Just because I sit at work all day and sit when I get home doesn’t seem to me grounds for this full on revolution of my body! Ok – UNCLE * I give up, Diet and the “E” word it is. Just to make sure I’m not being Hasty – I’m going to try standing on that #%@&*%@ liar – on one foot !